On Wrestling

Kathryn Greene-McCreight speaks of Jacob's wrestling match with the angel of the Lord.  It is such an interesting story especially in our Lenten walk.

Jacob was traveling, in some sense, through wilderness.  There is no reason for Jacob to expect God's encounter in the place he stops for a sleepover: "He came to a place and stayed there for the night because the sun had set."  There's nothing grand about any of this. The text mentions that Jacob did not even call upon the Lord (he didn't say his nightly prayers!) 

He simply goes to sleep and then dreams.  Dreams mightily.  Jacob sees angels ascending to heaven and descending to earth on a ladder. This action has no determined purpose.  The most important detail is that the Lord is somehow present.  The Lord addresses Jacob and makes a promise to be with him.  God promises to be present throughout everything planned for Jacob and his children: "torturous journeys, plenty and want, joys and sorrows."

                                               

When Jacob awakes, like many of us as we look into the hindsight of our lives, he proclaims, "Surely the Lord is in this place and I did not know it!" (Gen. 28:16).  We know that Jacob becomes a patriarch and major figure in Israel's history.  Yet, in this moment, he is unaware, caught off guard and totally surprised by God.  As Greene-McCreight says: "it should strike us as comforting to find that Jacob the Patriarch is no sterling example of character formation.  He is a sneak, a cheat and a liar.  But even that is no hurdle for God who nevertheless chooses Jacob to be next in the line of patriarchs."

As the story points out, it is immaterial to God's grace who Jacob has been in the past.  God calls and equips today, now.  God is always concerned with now rather than the past and yet we seem to be hardwired in the opposite way.  And where we wrestle, perhaps, is that we forget that the Way of the Cross to which we are called can often include what is mentioned above: torturous journeys, plenty and want, joys and sorrows.

Where have we resisted, wrestled, put up a fight with God only to find that God's will has indeed prevailed? Where have we found fulfillment and joy in our mission or vocation that we would not have planned for ourselves?  How often do we hold ourselves back from God's call based on some past mistake, misplaced shame, or denial of God's ability to heal, forgive, and equip?

While many think that wrestling with God is somehow antithetical to the spiritual journey, it is not.  It is necessary.  We do not come to growth through platitudes, a false sense of blessing/specialness, or a future-oriented denial of the present. We wrestle, resist, wander, struggle, surrender and find peace.  Yes, a new peace coming from the edge of night, the edge of wilderness, the dawning of morning.

A prayer from Walter Brueggemann:

You are the God of all truth, the God of deep hiddenness.

God of all hiddenness who shows yourself in your being hidden,

who hides yourself in your disclosures,

we would know more of you

of your goodness and your mercy,

of your large purposes and long-term dreams.

In your presence we become aware of how little we know of ourselves,

of our interests and passions,

of our fears and dreads,

of our wonderments and gifts.

In your truthfulness, let us know more of you

and in knowing you, ourselves as well.

We pray in the name of Jesus, where we see you fully,

and ourselves clearly.

Amen.